So Long & Here’s One About a Fish

I have enjoyed writing this blog, and will continue to Tell Two People every day about going to Tanzania to volunteer as a homeopath with the Homeopathy for Health in Africa charity; however I think it is time to stop blogging.

For my swansong, I’ve always wanted to tell this story, so here it is. It isn’t mine, so I hope the original Mr. and Mrs. X forgive me for any embellishments.

One morning my friend came down to breakfast to find her husband muttering “le poisson est mort”. Now my friend is fluent in French, having lived in Paris for a year, but French out of context before the first cup of tea can be a bit tricky, and it took a few grimaces and subtle nods towards the fish tank before she picked up the message; the fish is dead (and floating in the tank). With three children it was necessary to use some subterfuge to race them through breakfast without spotting the floating body, but they managed it and the children were whisked off safely to school leaving Dad to dispose of the corpse.

In the playground the event was retold and the gathered mothers nodded sagely at the gravity of the situation before one piped up “well I guess you’ll be having a funeral then”. Funeral? Flippin' Heck, do kids expect funerals these days? a frantic search in the handbag produced the phone and Dad was called.

“But I put it in the bin”

“Well you will jolly well have to get it out”

“But there’s all kinds of revolting stuff in there”

“Think of your little one’s tragic faces.....” (blackmail – it always works)

So Dad had to rummage around the bin, past manky tea leaves, soggy cereal and mouldy fruit. But no joy (did he really try girls?). Desperate, he got out a carrot and began carving a goldfish, making it just thin enough so that it could wobble a bit.

When the kids got home from school, they were lined up and quietly told of the tragic demise of the fish. (To be fair, it was just something they had won at the fair, so it was never going to last very long – but of course this was not said). Sad faces all round, and the little bit of carrot was hoicked out of the water and placed in some news paper (very quickly) before being carried out to the garden where a hole was dug to hold the remains of the little fellow (sorry, carrot). Prayers were said, tears were shed and a moving moment was had by all whilst Mum finally let out a sigh of relief and mentally promised no more goldfish.

   *** Next January I plan to write a blog from Tanzania ***

The Joy of Being a Boy

Yesterday was my wedding anniversary which we celebrate with cards but not a lot more, so last night we popped round to see friends who have the same anniversary. I Told both of them and they promised their support, which was kind. They asked how my husband will cope, but he just laughed as he is the chief cook in our house and we would all starve before he does. (There was a whistful sigh from the corner as the wife asked if he'd consider giving lessons).

Today I also Told a local seamstress, in the hope of enlisting her help at the Swish Party, but grandchildren seem to be the priority at the moment so I need to look elsewhere. 

It was then time to take the boys off to our dentist, who is lovely but rather far away and the journey is long. As a Good Friend, she has already been Told, but whilst in the dentist's chair I managed to Tell the nurse, who it turns out has used homoeopathy with her own children, so was very interested in the project.

We then took our dentist for lunch in a pub where, as it's holiday time, she indulged in the novelty of buying the boys a beer (they've been too young before). This was fine until it came to the long journey home; whilst we were stationary in one of those interminable motorway queues the eldest piped up how he sometimes loves the advantages of being a boy before nipping out behind a bush for a quick pee. It seems this triggered off a frenzy of activity from other male drivers, until the final chap began racing frantically back as he had seen the traffic moving off and his van was slowly being left behind. I did feel kind of envious, until I remembered that not being a boy, I don't drink pints of beer, so don't have the same problem.

Follow-My-Leader

Did I complain about teenage sons? well I take it all back, I definitely could not cope with them if they were young again. My Young Friend has been staying, and she is truly a joy, but playing follow-my-leader has seriously done for me and I need to lie down for a week.

Her, her mum and I gaily sailed off down the street before being told it was time for follow-the-leader again. We were penguins, aeroplanes, ducks, funny walkers & jumping kangaroos and I was knackered. We made it into the Co-op where, leaning heavily on the counter, I Told the cashier about Homeopathy for Health in Africa - she was very supportive.

Next we skipped off to the local museum to enjoy the oddities of Olney. On the way out I Told both people in the museum shop, and has a nice little chat about it; but it was now time for tea & cake. And yesterday it was Baking Day in the Tea Shop so we were able to launch into new delights. Looking up from my plate for a minute, I noticed the lady next to us (probably wondering if I was half starved). I started chatting to her and found that she was a visitor to town, so recommended a few highlights of Olney as well as Telling her about my volunteering.

We got back home (without getting soaked this time), the car was loaded and I waved good bye to the darling duo. Walking slowly back inside, I considered just how much cake I have eaten in the past few days before flaking out on the sofa. (I think I need to cut down).

Drowned Rats

Came down this morning to discover that the house had been taken over in the night (my son -back from uni in Northern Ireland). It seems that even when you return by plane with a luggage limit, it is possible to bring back all your washing.

The morning was taken up with a hospital check-up for my husband. Waiting, I realised that the people around me were really rather pre-occupied and would probably prefer not to hear from me, so I kept quiet.

My lovely friend and her 5 year-old daughter arrived later and we went in search of Afternoon Tea. We took turns playing follow-the-leader down the road, competing to see who could do the daftest walk or repeat the silliest thing. It's brilliant being a kid.

Tea and cake , naturally, were yummy and we then popped into the toy shop to spend a few pennies. I Told the lady, whilst the others browsed. Unfortunately the rain had started and we tried running, but eventually gave up and accepted that we looked like drowned rats. People with umbrellas saw us and chuckled (obviously the rain was not such a surprise for them).After bundling into our PJs, my long-lost-son texted me. Earlier we had had a mother-son discussion when I insisted (stop me, please) that his washing would dry better outdoors, he disagreed, so we bet on it. His text said that I owe him - how did I know it was going to rain?

Birthday Flowers

Today I have been tied to the computer since crack of dawn so am having to rely on yesterday's numbers. That and the fact that I still struggle to Tell people if I don't have at least a 24 hours' build up.

I raced down to the post office, single-mindedly focused on getting there before it closed and somehow that single-mindedness stayed with me. I Told no-one, with all those people milling about the market place I could have managed something. It puts me in mind of a person I know who has tunnel vision, and describes it as being like 'looking at the world through a letter box'. Interestingly, their world seems to be shrunk too, never travelling away and rarely going to places off their usual path through town. Hmmmm, perhaps it is time for me to look a little wider....

Anyway, part of the rushing included calling in on a girlfriend to give her a joint birthday present. But, what do you give someone who just doesn't really want anything? (happy with her lot, rather than rich). Ah, well I had thought flowers would be good - some nice flowering plants to grow in the garden and then look out on all summer. Seems this is not necessarily the case as it turns out they are planning to redesign the garden over the next three weeks so it would only get squashed or dug up. So on to plan B. Fortunately my other pal has loads of tubs spare, so we can house them in those for the moment.

Presents, after the age of about 6 they're impossible. (Except, if you remember, that £160 box of chocolates from Hotel Chocolat. Surely anyone would like that?)

Just a Little Too Much to Eat

Today I have been at a 40th birthday party, outside in the sunshine - gorgeous.

On the journey down I was wedged  (the car was small) between two other folk; captive, they had nothing they could do while I Told them about volunteering in Africa. And all in all it helped the journey go by. One was the mother-of-the-bride-to-be and with only 8 weeks to go still did not have her outfit sorted! (The other was a chap, and as a fella he failed to see the drama in this. Huh!) In desperation she had even considered changing the theme from Pastel Pink & Purple to Fancy Dress Pirates. (No really, she had even gone on the internet and found that this opened up her options immensely and still meant her daughter could wear a posh frock - Kiera Knightly, Pirates of the Caribbean, you know...)

When we arrived the hog roast was smelling divine and we all assembled the different courses we brought to provide an enormous feast. Tucking into my grub I discussed homeopathy with a fellow who went on to tell me the ancient folk lore of how to catch a hare: you take two sticks into the wood, when you spot the hare, leave one stick with your coat on it (so he thinks you're still there) and duck, slowly edging your way around until you get behind him. Then go for it with the stick! He said that he had  sometimes got near a hare (in other words, no, it doesn't work in practise).

Pudding next. Fabulous, sticky, sweet, fruity puddings. Chomping, I chatted with a chap who, among his many talents, did Dame Edna Everidge impressions professionally. He too was interested in Homeopathy for Health in Africa (oh, I was wearing the sweat shirt up until then, so could point at this for reinforcement. Full of pavlova, I then had to take it off before I sweated away).

Cheese course - Told some more people, including a few homeopaths.

Then the birthday cake. What can I say? it was pure Chocolate Heaven. Made by a fabulous chocolatier (who clearly really knows his stuff). Praline, dark chocolate and double cream mousse (yes, you could taste it all!) fresh berries on top, dark chocolate rings to decorate. Oh.

Needless to say we all had some and finally waddled out to go home. Mmmmmm......

Fishing Dinner

Last night I went to a Fishing Dinner, that is a meal for a bunch of fellows who fish (and their wives). Needless to say there was a lot of bait-and-tackle discussion, but people were friendly and I managed to Tell the couple next to me about Homeopathy for Health in Africa, in fact we had a good chat. It's funny how different people pick up on different things; last night I was warned about the trauma of seeing poverty - which I'm sure is true - but I am currently still grappling with the worry about not seeing my hairdresser for 12 weeks.

One well travelled chappie listened to me and then gave me a single tip - which I share with you:
"when you arrive at the airport, do not go with any of the taxi drivers that try to take your bag (and apparently loads do), but choose one that hangs back." Sound advice I'm sure, so I didn't feel right mentioning that I might be catching the bus.

On the other side I sat next to a lovely lady and through the evening (having Told her early on) we talked about all kinds of things, including her chickens. It's seems Gadget Dave has a rival, in the shape of her husband. Since retiring it has become a nuisance to get up early and let the chickens out, so they have an electric door on a timer (!) The one time it failed they went out to find their most feisty chicken digging for freedom.

Finally the cheese course came, which for special effect was wrapped in nettles. (I say for special effect but I haven't a clue really and the things were so black and mouldy, quite frankly they could have been old socks). However all the cheese was eaten and conversation turned to nettles. Well, I extolled the virtues of drinking nettle tea as the men wept at the simplicity of my poor weak mind. Tony pointed out that the only good thing to do with nettles was to turn them into beer however on the one occasion that he had attempted this, on opening the first bottle (fortunately in the garden) the mixture exploded. In angry response he then tipped all the rest away. (Beneath the roars of laughter he quietly admitted that he had added extra sugar and yeast to make it stronger).

Bloggers Block

Blogger's Block. Hmmm.... sounds like a load of old cobblers to me, until I tried writing today. I sat down to type and all that came out of my tippy tapping was three measly sentences (as I've Told 3 people). What kind of blog is that? I can't even admit that they were grammatically correct.

So how is it that I can write jolly emails to pals, including my wish-she-were-my-niece (who I have been meaning to Tell for forever and finally managed to email today but who, incidentally, should not be reading emails at work) however I am stymied when it comes to the blog?

So I took my Mum to the Co-op (we live the High Life) and badgered everyone in a uniform until I found the-one-who-makes-decisions. I Told her about Homeopathy for Health in Africa and she has promised a rather lovely raffle prize - hooray!

My mum then took me out for a cup of tea (I think she could see I was a little low). You know there's something about a cuppa... I've just watched the end of a film where three of the four heroes are given The Ultimate Spread to eat (gorgeous fruit, champagne, huge chocolate cake etc. etc.) and the English guy gets a cup of tea. And I could see the sense in this. (Mind you, you do really need some cake to go with it).

Once home I sorted out a remedy for a family friend who then popped round later with her dog. She was grateful enough to listen through the whole of my Telling and even, as she raises money for charities herself, gave me tips on selling plants.

Hope the writing picks up tomorrow.

More memory problems

Today I was offering my services as a homeopath to some nuns I see regularly. Somehow (somehow!) I managed to forget about telling anybody until I was in the hall waiting for lunch. Fortunately there is silence as you wait for the food, otherwise I suspect my reaction might have shocked a few people.

So in the queue I got talking to the lady next to me (and I don't normally do that, so hooray for the wonders of having to talk to people). She was a kind person, interested to hear about my plans to volunteer with Homeopathy for Health in Africa, but at 80 she felt she was still healthy enough not to need homeopathy herself (brilliant!)

During the afternoon I managed to Tell a few more people, including someone who had originally trained as a doctor and spent 3 months training in Gambia. She said that the biggest lesson had been to appreciate that the people there were so open and friendly, as well as happy with their lives, despite being so poor. A valuable lesson.

I was also bowled over (almost to tears) when a novice-nun (so they may have possessions, unlike fully-converted nuns) gave me a contribution towards my fundraising. I am truly humbled.

Wrung Out

The trouble with going away is all the stuff you have to do when you get back. I feel I have had a flat out day and have very little left to give. Also feeling a bit low as I have found out I need to raise a whole lot more money to pay for visas, cell phone (cell phone?) and other stuff when I get to Tanzania - am not sure how I will manage this...

Nevertheless I managed my two Tells. I set off to the newsagent with my husband to get a paper and spotted someone who I used to live next-door to. I shuffled about as she was taking ages to buy her stuff, but finally managed to Tell her - and she was thrilled to hear about Homeopathy for Health in Africa. I also managed to Tell the lady who organises a local women's group, many of whom will hopefully come to the Quiz.

In this lovely weather my thoughts turn to the garden and I have realised that as Newton's Third Law of Physics states - for every action there is an opposite reaction. When walking with a friend I saw a chrysalis-type-thingy on the pavement. With no legs, I realised its chances of reaching safe ground were pretty slim. Now, being a softy I tend to pick up worms when I see them stranded, so recognising this was a wormy type creature I went back and picked it up, popping it into the nearby garden. What a saintly act I thought as I muttered something about not wanting to kill off such a little being, to which my friend countered "no, but it might now kill of half the plants in that garden!" Hmmm, hadn’t thought of it that way.

Back to the Quest

Things were far better in Hampshire today. Dad and I went shopping and despite being pretty deaf he is a sociable fellow (unlike me) so we got chatting to the lady in the Health Food shop. Had a lovely discussion about the beauty of Yorkshire, then I Told her about Homeopathy for Health in Africa - she was very interested.

Next I decided to try and find some more plates for the Tea Parties and so Told the lady in a charity shop. On the strength of that she dug out a whole batch of them for me (which was kind) and then wished me luck as I left (which was unexpected).

Back at his house I met a friend of my Dad who works in another charity shop and Told her - she was impressed and agreed to look out for bone china ware.

Finally, on the way home I called in on some family friends and saw the son - back from uni - and Told him! Youths seem to think volunteering in Africa is an exciting prospect, older people appreciate more that it could be a bit challenging for a fossil like me, nevertheless he thought it was a Good Idea.

To end the day we watched the sun go down in Gadget Dave's garden, whilst he brought out more and more gizmos. He had something that you could point at the sky and it showed a picture indicating the stars that should be there (need to wait a bit for that as it was still daylight - but impressive nevertheless). Then we invented a game where we would point to a plane in the sky (and there were a few) & he would use some whizzo software on his phone to tell us not only the airline but the destination of the flight. Unbelievable. I think my head exploded at that point...

Disappointing Dogs

I am with my Dad because I like to see him, but also because he cannot be left on his own at the moment, so what he does, I do. And he gardens.

Not a lot of people to Tell in a garden, so I am going to have to rely on my 'spares' today.

Actually there was one person; I heard her trilling away just as I had gone into the lane to get some more nettles (with gloves this time). I raced back only to see her slight form (she was even shorter than my Dad - who coming from Welsh Stock, is not huge) disappearing through the gate. Our one visitor and I was buggering about elsewhere!

So I spent the rest of the day digging and trimming and hiding (that's hiding the things I dug up by mistake - I was in the orchard today, so no handy hedges to chuck things in. Luckly the compost heaps are enormous and I just kept lifting the top layer of leaves and burying the sad remains of whatever I had unwittingly unearthed.)

Ended up Telling two blackbirds who were frolicking in the garden. Also Told the dogs, but their faces said it all "if there are no biscuits in it for us - we're not interested". Heathens.

A Taste of Spingtime

I type with finger tips still smarting, as I picked stinging nettles earlier today. This is the best time of year to drink nettle tea: gather the top four leaves of nettles growing above dog weeing height and add 2 or 3 tops to a mug of boiling water. Leave the leaves to steep for about 5 minutes, then drink this fabulous taste of spring. There is a legend that the new leaves, that is the ones at the top of the plant, don't sting, however my fingers say differently....

So, I am back with my Dad for a few days, and therefore things have suddenly gone quiet again. Luckily I did end up Telling my friend's husband last night. It was slightly unfair as, to be honest, he was captive in his own home, with nowhere to go as I cornered him by the fridge and explained the fantastic work done by Homeopathy for Health in Africa. Fortunately he is a nice chap and showed interest in all the right places.

On the way down to Dad's this morning I called in on a homeopath I had studied with and was able to Tell her. Her enthusiasm and encouragement were wonderful. But there was something odd going on in the background... I took my shoes off, and within seconds they were gently lifted off the floor and placed in a cupboard, my handbag (casually discarded by me) was also softly scooped from the ground and set on a shelf at shoulder height. Bemused, I decided not to say anything but nevertheless to hold on to whatever I had left, just in case. However it turned out that the dogs of the house have a tendency to chew things, so what might pass for madness in my house was something to be appreciated in this one.

Still Dreaming

Sunny days continue, and after a marathon household shopping spree this morning my attention returned to the bike.

Now, yesterday when I returned home I found that lovely Dave had indeed left something for my bike tyres, a marvellous thing. A natty little box, with cables & a power point and dials & knobs & everything but no sign of anything like the bits needed (in my humble eyes) to pump up tyres. Bemused I turned it around and poked about a bit but concluded that Dave (who, to be honest, could also be called gadget man) had left me a bit of a puzzle.

My husband asked why on earth I wasn't using our bike pump. He lives here, he knows what the shed looks like, this was a daft question, until he added that my son had it last week. So I phoned my son (he enjoys such a wonderful social life that I never see him) and he denied all knowledge. After much to-ing & fro-ing he did remember (goldfish memory - runs in the family) and the tyres were sorted.

Feeling sociable, I walked downown with the bike and my husband, leaving him off for a beer before going to a little Vintage shop nearby. I Told the girl in the shop, but by the third "oh, brilliant" I realised that she wasn't really listening as she packed up the china plates I had bought.

Further down the road I called in on a jewellery shop, but she said she couldn't help; however she did listen as I Told her about Homeopathy for Health in Africa.

I then mounted the bike to come home, only to find the rusty chain was off. After much jiggling I refitted it, but that still wasn't enough, so with oily hands and a furrowed brow I walked the bloomin' thing to my friends house - who found it absolutely hilarious that I had ended up taking my bike for a walk. It really is a knackered old heap .

Dreams of Cycling in the Sun

Another sunny day so I thought I would cruise downtown on my bike. It is a bit old, with one of those enormous seats to accommodate a spreading bottom - ghastly to look at but so much more comfortable. Of course, for its first outing of the year it needs the tyres pumping up which meant a trip to our shed. Hmmmm....

...there is a pump in there somewhere.

So I phoned lovely Dave who said he'd look one out for me. Meantime I toddled off to see what the day would bring.

I called in at the charity shop and got another new person to Tell (this is too easy!) then found out about postage rates around the world as there may be some interest in the Homeopathy for Health in Africa hoodies.

I handed out a quiz leaflet to a lovely friend of my son as I know her mum would like to come along, then braced myself and went into the furniture shop.

Then came out again. (I'm sure there was a manager or someone in there somewhere, but I never found them). Next door in the nick nack (knick knack?) shop, the manger was away until tomorrow, so I moved on to the pizzaria. The chap in there was pleasant and, after noting that he does get a lot of requests, took my leaflet (ooh and saw the back of my hoodie - I think it adds something if I spin round while talking) and said he will see what he can do. I will keep you posted.

Wandering around the market place I heard a lady in her car yodelling out her thanks to a good Samaritan, and turning to see who it was found it was the lovely Dave (make that the lovely, helpful Dave) so I skipped across to greet him. Meantime he was about to embark on a chat with the fellow on the bench, so he introduced me - and there, another person Told!

Tip of the Day - Avon's Skin Soft range of products is supposed to be brilliant at repelling mosquitoes. Would you believe even game keepers in midge-infested Scotland are reputed to use it.

Memory Limitations

Even though I am not a granny (long way off yet I suspect) I find myself strangely drawn to doing crochet. Our crochet trio met again today and I was amazed to find that although I have the memory of a goldfish, it seems that one crochet partner has the memory of a flea. Crocheting relies heavily on counting; everything is balanced and symmetrical, but this requires concentration to ensure you are doing the right thing in the right place. For someone with my slapdash approach this is challenging, but if you can't remember if you just chained 3 stitches, this makes conversations a touch repetitive (How many trebles next?) Fortunately it is also hilarious.

Our conversation also hovered around the subject of mothers & Alzheimers - looking back I feel that is somewhat ironic.

So today I finally got to Tell the vicar, who is a wonderful but busy person. Her husband was packing her bag into the car as I arrived, undeterred I pushed on with the Telling and actually got a lot covered. I shall be giving a talk in the Church next September, hopefully an inspirational one leading to much interest and many donations.

I also Told the chap who runs the newsagents, who helpfully suggested facebook & twitter. But my little-old-lady-look belies my abilities - I have already have those covered! If I want a donation he suggested that I contact the head office, but his tone and expression did not engender much hope. Nevertheless I shall pursue it - fundraising is not for the fainthearted.

Don't take it Personally

Today has been an odd day, with me emailing every single homeopath I can think of to encourage them to vote 'No' in the Guardian online poll "Should homeopathy be banned on the NHS?" There are some amazingly vitriolic comments about homeopathy and an incredibly relentless series of 'Yes' votes posted right through the night (a colleague was monitoring it). Methinks there is a co-ordinated anti-homeopathy movement afoot.

Still I can't let that get me down.

Fundraising hoodie arrived today - hooray! it's lovely. I was waiting so I could send photos of it to encourage sales, little thinking of exactly how I would take those photos. So I now have a series of pictures of me in contorted poses in the mirror (if you look directly in the mirror it gives you a kind of menacing look - a good head crop sorted that out. And trying to photograph the back - well, I have photos of the wall, the door, half my back. Rubbish!) Luckily I was meeting three kindred spirits this afternoon so they soon sorted me out.

We did seem to talk a lot. Two people chat, three people talk and four people, well they really go for it. We would still be there but someone fortunately noticed the cafe owner silently weeping in the corner, having cleaned every inch of the place and packed everything away. outside I latched on to Lindsey - another one who seems to know the whole world - on the off chance that she would bump into one of her numerous friends and I could then Tell them.

A watched kettle never boils and it seems a stalked friend never meets pals so we wandered into the Oxfam bookshop where I Told the sales lady. She was interested and even took one of my leaflets on the (rather optimistic) offchance that Oxfam might be able to support me in some way. It was then time for Lindsey's pilates, so I followed her in and Told the instructor, who kindly put up one of my posters. Coming home I bumped into the wife of a succesful local business man and sowed the seeds of generosity and support in her mind (I hope). 

Frog in a Hurry

Zooming down the country lanes I narrowly missed a frog crossing the road; he looked like he was in a hurry. Can't imagine how I even saw him as I was concentrating on what I was going to say to she-who-must-be-obeyed (my pal who insisted that I Tell Two People every day about Homeopathy for Health in Africa).

I was racing to see her for some comfort and support as I had been panicking about the Swish Party. Tower of strength that she is, she sorted out all my angst and we set off to walk the dog. At the field gate we bumped into another dog-walker, and I realised that I had to Tell him (otherwise, Good Grief, she'd never believe I was really doing it). Fortunately it turns out that his wife will be coming to the Swish Party, so he could appreciate why I was trying to spread the word.

Back at the healthfood co-operative I also managed to Tell the cashier, but it was one of those burbling Tells so I was just glad that he said I could leave the HHA donation postcards for customers to see. (I think I could feel his compassion reaching out across the cash register.) 

Also spent a lot of today sorting out fundraising hoodies, but how to price them? There is a lovely book called The Professor and the Housekeeper that I read recently where the magic of numbers is revealed. Now, a number like 24 (£24 for a hoodie?) is divisible by loads of numbers (2,3,4,6,8,12) so I thought that it might be mystically appropriate. However it turns out that £25 is better - why? because you make a pound more for the fund! (See, I'm not a complete whimsical twit).

Dreams of Chocolate

Those tricky people from Hotel Chocolat slipped a brochure into the post today, and within minutes I was gobbling on chocolate as I swooned over the pages. Fortunately the Easter Collection is way too expensive for me.
         The Ostrich   "the perfect egg to share - for entire families" 
At 70 quid, sharing that might well be the definition of True Love. (But if you do have a spare £160, the Signature Cabinet looks gorgeous).

At the other end of the spectrum I have been excercising - Zumba again. Still cracking me up with the leaping from side to side, but it gets the heart going and enabled me to Tell two more people who both think volunteering for Homeopathy for Health in Africa is a worthy effort.

Also manged to Tell the butcher, but it was one of those occasions where his eyes started to glaze over and I knew I had lost him, so I began to garble - just making it worse. I finished with a rapid goodbye and scuttled for the safety of the anonymous pavement.

Luckily things brightened up after that when I picked up the promised champagne for the raffle, and then Told the chap in the charity shop. (It's marvellous - they have a seemingly endless supply of enthusiastic people for me to Tell!)

In the cafe the Lovely Simon took pity on me, as I mumbled and rummaged to find a Quiz poster for him to put up, and donated another raffle prize! I skipped all the way home in the sunshine.

Mothers' Day

(Back in the world of technology) I was pleased to find that both my sons remembered Mothers' Day (I am the one with memory problems but they are the ones with very-busy-lives. And let's face it - they're BOYS).

The sun peeped out so I went for a walk into town and came across the Continental Market I thought was on weeks ago. Luckily they hadn't closed up so I bought a china pig (pressy) and Told the lady. Funnily enough earlier today she had been talking to someone who is volunteering in Africa for Three months on a Hospital Boat. Small world - Big Africa.

Went on to the Estate Agent where my son works on a Sunday (choosing my moment carefully to minimise familial embarassment) and Told them, but am dubious that it will amount to much.

Enjoying the sun on the way back I encountered a lady involved in many Good Works, so Told her and then grilled her for some tips on fundraising; she was very helpful. So helpful, in fact, that I was loath to let her go and she ended up pleading with me that she had to go to catch a coach into London. How embarassing!

And it seems that half the Town remembered Mothers' Day as returning home I must have seen dozens of men levering ancient Mums into cars outside restaurants and houses. It is clearly The Thing to feed your Mum on Mothers Day. (What am I saying - that is exactly what I will be doing later. No hang on, she is bringing a shepherd's pie with her. How on earth did that happen? Aaarrgh! Guilt, all part of a daughter's job description.)

Birds in the Quiet Hampshire Countryside

My Dad lives a peaceful life, so I am spending more time in the garden than anywhere else. This involves pulling up dead things & hoping that there are no bulbs on the end - yes there have been quite a few of those. I quietly chuck them to the back & hope no-one sees. There is an outside chance that later on in the year there will be vast crops of unexpected flowers along the edge of the hedge, but I shall be long gone by then so can leave the birds to take the blame.

Did manage one Tell today - the lovely next door neighbour. I went round there with Dad so that we could Skype Mogue in Ireland. It really was a herding cats event: son - not where he should be but getting in the beers ready for St. Patrick's day festivities; Dad (who incidently is badly deaf) telling me that he is off for his afternoon nap (thought I'd explained, but obviously hadn't quite managed it); lovely next door neighbour out - but hero that he is he had said we could go in any time (once we'd found the key). Finally assembled all players in the right places and - well it was really lovely; Dad was amazed.

Took the dogs for a walk and realized that this is not gong to be the triumphant Mass Declaration to Hampshire that I had envisaged, so I ended up shouting it out to the sky larks (big field, no other dog-walkers, think I got away with it). For the time being, Hampshire shall have to remain somewhat ignorant of Homeopathy for Health in Africa.

Technological Hitch

Back to learning patience (sigh). I have gone to see my Dad and knowing they have a computer I just assumed I could blog here, however the technology they have can best be described as Quaint (not too dissimilar from the picture). I went to use the blogmaster thingy and it chuckled and said that the browser (ha ha) is so old that it barely recognises it (ha ha ha) and certainly cannot communicate with it (hee hee). And it doesn't! the bloomin' thing shows me buttons but they don't work - so I have had to resort to other tactics.

It reminds me of how things have moved on over the years. I remember first using the internet in 1993 - you had to use two programs to get email - one to get it and the other to read it. But it was marvellous just the same. One of the best moments was when I was emailing Australia as I had a problem with their software, and being British I thought I'd better be polite and mention the weather (snow). They came back saying how sunny it was and with joy and amazement it suddenly hit me that I was having a conversation with someone in Australia!.....

.....

(You'd think I'd never heard of telephones...)

Anyhow, I am a bit slow here (too) but managed to Tell the nice lady in the charity shop about Homeopathy for Health in Africa as she sold me some rather sweet china plates for the next Tea Party; for the second Telling I am relying on the extra credit I got with the Jewelry party extravaganza. Will be back on form tomorrow - watch out Hampshire, I am enthusiastic!

Hoodies are a Coming

Just got a phone call that the Homeopathy for Health in Africa hoodies are on their way! can't wait. Em has been organising this (and other wonderful things) so I told her she is great and she agreed! Ooh the sun is out and I am happy.

Was out at a jewelry (jewellry?) party last night - had to drag my sorry carcass out of the house it was so cold, but jolly glad I did. I met some new people & saw others I haven't seen for ages and managed to Tell all of them, which must put me in credit for days! There were more exchanges about friends and family who have volunteered in Africa and it seems that the enthusiasm is finally paying off as someone asked me about homeopathy.

Sipping tea in the sunshine with a chum (another wonder, who seems to know the whole world) when the lady from the hairdressers next door stopped for a chat. Spring warmth brings out the best in people, as I Told her about the volunteering and as she had mentioned having 5 bottle of champagne left from her party I (that's me) asked if she would like to donate one for the Quiz. And she said yes! Even my friend was slightly stunned.

Stuffed Heads

I am always happily surprised at how people naturally want to help. I phoned up our local Fete to see if I could have a stand but it seems they are fully booked, however I Told the organiser - who was interested to hear about Homeopathy for Health in Africa - and she said that she would talk it over with the chairman to see what they could do. The owner of one of the estate agents also got back to me about loaning some equipment for the Swish party - hadn't expected that. Makes you feel good.

Went out for a walk with a friend after (jokingly) threatening physical violence (must work on my interpersonal skills). She is a wonderful, capable person but someone has managed to persuade her otherwise – which makes me cross - so fresh air was required.

First stop: the garage, where I was still unsure whether my request had reached the Right Ears – and the Right Ears were out to lunch. I’ll be back.

Then on to green pastures and open spaces where we could rant without being overheard (although we were still visible and I can get quite animated). After several muddy fields we felt we had made some headway and steered a course towards coffee.

Now this friend knows half the world, so on the way we called in on her pal in the antique shop who I Told; as a fellow therapist she was encouraging and will hopefully come to the Quiz. I also Told the owner who, to be fair, was honest enough to say come back when business was better. We were then somewhat distracted by the arrival of a mounted zebra head –a real one, dated April 1910 - followed by a stag’s head. Attention was then directed to the coveted lion’s head on the PC (they go for about 2 thousand quid!). This all seemed a bit bizarre, so we slipped out as a discussion ensued about using a giraffe’s head (with neck) as a lamp stand...

If you’re still counting, I then Told the manageress in the coffee shop and someone else my friend knew on the way home, not to mention the letter I sent to Tesco's charity organiser.

Go Out There and Sell It

Hmmm... perhaps I'm getting the hang of this. My husband called in from work with a colleague to pick up some equipment (don't ask me, 'heavy and dangerous looking' would be my best description). The chap was standing at the doorway so I went to say hello; he had seen the sign that I am a homeopath and commented that he knew nothing about it. (Good job one of us was thinking about homeopathy.)  So off I went Telling him about Homeopathy for Health in Africa. So we had a little chat; it turns out he has visited Tanzania and this time I was far more enthusiastic about the wonders of homeopathy. (It is wonderful so why on earth haven't I done this before?)

Next I met up with someone running another charity in Africa. I Told her (she got the Full Works, including how remedies are made) and she was very encouraging. In return I was grateful for all the advice and suggestions she made, including being sensitive to the culture of the people around you in Tanzania.

That put me in mind of the time when I worked as a TS Engineer for London Transport, investigating unusual technical problems. Early on I was in a bus garage looking into an engine problem which came down to the fuel pump. It was late in the day and people were getting itchy to go home, so it was one of those moments when you say 'look, you go and I'll get this sorted' and then I changed the fuel pump. Well, it seems this is the stuff that legends are made of (that's stories based on a little bit of truth, with a lot of fairy tale). Within weeks, any garage that this small, female engineer went into, had heard of her and were very welcoming. It was not an amazing thing to do, but was unexpected as TS engineers often avoided the manual stuff, so getting my hands dirty seemed to endear me to them. (Though, to be honest, lack of patience rather than wisdom was at the root of it).

Back in Olney I skipped off down the High Street and bumped into two Mums I know, enthusiastically Telling them and finding that it really does seem to mirror back to you. So this gave me enough momentum to go and Tell two more people. Also left handouts with the online donation link, but you know, I am beginning to feel that this is not the best approach....

Life can be Like Zumba

D'you know I think I've lost count of the number of worthy citizens I've Told today - but I jump ahead of myself...

Today I tried Zumba again. I have to say I love it, all that shuffle-hopping about and the joy of finding yourself careering off to the left when everyone else is hot-footing it to the right, or bending down (watch that back!) as the whole room leaps in the air. But did I Tell anyone new today? did I buggery.

I then saw my homeopath who does a good line in telling me off. Well, to be fair, not so much reprimanding as putting me straight. I have come on in leaps in and bounds (not the Zumba, but the fact that I am sorting the fundraising and Telling people about Homeopathy for Health in Africa) however there is still more to go. She suggested that it would be a good idea to increase my enthusiasm for homeopathy as I talk about the project (how does she know??)

So I girded my loins and set off.

First stop, the local garage. I enlightened the lady in the office who then decided that she probably couldn't make a decision on sponsoring me so got another chap to come in. He took my leaflet (hooray! - I am prepared) and said that he'd pass it on to the manager. Now call be a suspicious old trout, but I am not sure that will be happening. There is something to be learned here....

Then on to the the next business. They listened nicely (I'm such a mother), took the leaflet and looked positive about donating online. 

Further down the road I bumped into the parents of a baby sitter I had eons ago; we like to chat (daughter has been married years now - they are grandparents!) I Told them and it turns out their daughter is using homeopathic teething crystals, so I enthused about homeopathy for children.

In the charity shop I noted that the lady behind the desk had a French accent (been reading about homeopathy being popular in France) so I Told her and asked if she used homeopathy. She doesn't (yet!) but we had a jolly talk about its uses.

Ooh, this goes on & on. Met a couple of ladies I know, Told them (now they were enthusiastic about homeopathy, I should take lessons) and handed out quiz leaflets. Collared a girl I know who has been fundraising and asked for any tips. It seems the key is to bake and make CUP CAKES. (I have taken notes and will try to translate them into action.)

Not bad ay? Life can be like Zumba - you can get a bit muddled, but mostly its good fun and afterwards you feel like you've achieved something.

Stepping Out in Spring Sunshine

The sun is out and the town is busy; bare legs and shorts everywhere! I walked down and got a drink in one of the cafes and Told the asst. manager about volunteering. It turns out that her son, a soldier, was posted in Sierra Leone so she is well aware of the need for help in many parts of Africa. Hopefully she will be able to persuade the manager next week to donate a raffle prize.

Walking along in the sunshine I bumped into a chap I know, who I Told last night (along with a few others - get me!) at an inspiring show about African/ American history, with pictures, a talk and some really beautiful spiritual singing. This fella will be running a marathon for another African charity so we agreed to sponsor each other.

On the way home I called in on some friends to encourage them to come to the quiz. She was sorting out seedlings and I explained how earlier on I had planted out some lettuce seedlings, then kept revisiting them every hour just in case something had changed. (Naturally it hadn't) Patience something I need to work on. Anyway, I continued burbling and mentioned about getting a raffle prize from the cafe and next thing I know Alan offered me two tickets to the Jazz club he runs in town, for the raffle. Yaaay, How kind!

The Effect of The Quest

It's one of those odd things that my son enjoys circus skills and over the years has assembled a collection of unicycles, juggling clubs (including ones you set fire to - a present from me in one of my less safety-conscious moments), diablo (that thing like a large cotton reel you spin around on string between two wooden sticks) and so on. Soon to be an impoverished student he decided to sell them and our local theatre entrepreneur was interested so called in.

Never one to miss an opportunity (and there were two here), I had a chat with him, Telling him about working in Tanzania. It turns out that he will also be able to help by lending some clothing rails for the Swish party - hooray!

Shopping seemd to be more tricky. The general attitude to shopping - and lets be honest, this is mine too - is to get in and out as quickly as possible; casual chit chat is really not on the cards. So in Costco I found myself in the queue regretting all these people and not being able to Tell them.

However I have found that all this pushing myself forward is starting to change my attitude, and quite uncharacteristically I leant forward to the lady in front and told her I really liked her shoes - which I did! they had these lovely shiny black beads on the front and I am a sucker for shiny things. She thanked me and said that she had got them on the market, before zipping off to scoop up her shopping. The surprise came when she (and her husband!) hung around afterwards to tell me the location of the market stall where she bought them (3 quid - bargain!), so I abandoned my position as packer-in-chief and had a lovley chat leaving my poor husband to pack and pay. Am I becoming a social being?

Boys and Girls

Today I met with two very old friends, by which I mean friends-of-longstanding, rather than ancient pals. It was lovely to see them, and it didn't take long before we were comparing notes on our offspring. Our first children were all the same age when we met, so inevitably things steer in that direction at some point.

(Of course not before I Told them about Homeopathy for Health in Africa )

Today the feature was the difference between boys and girls. It seems that boys tend to be more direct than girls. When, in my enthusiasm, I suggested to my elder son that we held a fundraising Barn Dance for all the parents - who I know, and their children - who he and my other son know, he commented "That would be ridiculous. No one of my age would go near an event that their parents were at". He even laughed; I was rather put out. But it seems that that is how boys are: plain speaking.

Girls on, the other hand, are less straightforward. It seems that if Dad tells her something she must do, she might vaguely nod and perhaps even let a "hmmm" escape her lips, but that is all. Now as mothers we know that this means "not bloody likely", but a father is more inclined to interpret this as "yes Dad, I agree with all you say" and peace and happiness ensues until Dad realises this.

This issue of bluntness versus interpretation extends to chores; there is a need for clarity with young men that is not necessary with young ladies. A simple comment about a full dishwasher and a requirement for clean plates ready for supper will elicit unstacking of the dishwasher from any girl worth her salt. Not so with a boy. He will slope off in his own little world and be completely bemused when tasked with the question "why didn't you unstack?", countering with "but you didn't ask me!" Foolish lad, did he not understand that this was implicit.

How to Deal With Creepy Crawlies

Bit side-tracked today with January exam results out; this is relevant because if these go well, my little darling leaves home for university and as a relieved mother I zip off to Tanzania to Do Some Good Works. 

Also had to (metaphorically) leap upon my white charger to unexpectedly take a friend to the train station, so she could go and see her sick Dad. Life has not been easy for her recently, so we joked that as this one is a bit rubbish perhaps she should go in for reincarnation. Black humour, but at least we laughed.


As far as the Quest in concerned, this town is beginning to reach saturation point; walking back from Tea with Mum I bumped into numerous people I have already Told. Then I had a thought and called in at the library, not for books but because I knew there would be two people behind the counter with no easy escape, so I Told them. They kindly offered to let me leave some information cards there.

Further up the hill I came across one of the biddies from Saturday and we had a good chat, in fact a far reaching discussion about the best way to deal with spiders and other creepy crawlies (if you don't want to kill them). A lot of people are concerned that when I go to Africa I have at least one mosquito net but now I find I will also need a large glass and piece of cardboard.

Finally I managed to Tell my sister-in-law today - can't imagine how I haven't before, though she does live in Ireland (is that a proper excuse?) I was intrigued to hear how she described work at the moment (she is a teacher, teaching sweet young things) - "not awful awful, just normal awful".

A Modern Shakespeare

Yesterday I met up with my two crochet buddies. I still don't get it, we all sit around the table with our Master (well she is one) calling out the stitches, with us following, and somehow they both have lovely little pieces and I have a mangled, knotted heap. (Reminds me of "learning" violin in a group at junior school; the teacher would yell out the notes and we would randomly scrape away on the strings. Completely awful.)

So today I decided that maybe a few alterations were needed and set off for the charity shop where I found a handy little bag full of odds & ends of wool. I also Told the lady at the desk and we chatted about taking an opportunity when it arises.

Back home, struggling on with the crochet, I discover no discernible improvements. Whether I change the pattern, the needle, the wool, or even the colour I still get a distorted blob. The Finger of Suspicion is beginning to point at me.

All is not lost, at least I had a jolly chat on my journey back from town when I called in on a friend who was curious to hear about Homeopathy for Health in Africa and my plans to volunteer there. She then regaled me with her expedition to Milton Keynes theatre last night where she saw a modern take on The Taming of the Shrew. A good production but a bit raunchy, she said (especially as she was watching with one of the lady priests from our town). The stage is a bed, where all the action takes place; there is a chap waving his bum around a great deal and the Hero spends most of the time strutting around with strap-on dangly bits at the front. The irony was that on the way out they bumped into the other two lady priests from our town who had copped a far better view of the Hero from their seats at the front (but hadn't necessarily appreciated it).

Super Telling

Today I have found myself Super Telling people about Homeopathy for Health in Africa. (Super Telling is when they know vaguely about what you plan to do - “in a hospice, isn’t it?” – but could do with something resembling reality.) Not quite sure how to do the scoring on that, but I'm sure they count.

So first there was the caretaker for the hall where we had the Tea Party - he had been incredibly supportive, despite having only a vague idea what it was all about. He now knows! Then the couple I met in the chemist's, who had heard "something" but were not quite sure. And finally (hooray!) I met with Our Man on the Local Magazine; the editor. He said that if I write 200 words he can include them. (Hmmm.... may have to smarten up my style bit.)

I also tried to persuade him to put together a Quiz team, but there was some reluctance as it was felt that they might not be a strong side. "Fear not" I said (paraphrasing now) "I had a Quiz meeting yesterday and specifically asked for all questions to be easy." (In reality I was told that this would make it slightly pointless, so we compromised on having one or two Tough Questions per round in order to separate the wheat from the chaff - I am definitely chaff).

Later I met up with someone I have sung carols with, who runs another charity in Africa. Not sure if I Told her or Super Told her - the distinction is getting a bit fuzzy now - but she is going to give me tips after the Fringe Event they are running at the weekend.

And in case you are interested, I am now an expert in getting tea stains out & ironing table cloths. Well, to be accurate I cannot iron linen table cloths – whoever invented them was obviously a man, or a woman with a lady-that-does, because they are bloody impossible to iron. 

Cheese and things

I am being slow again. Today I find myself sending cheese to Belfast. No, not a weird refugee donation scheme, but even I can see (now) that it is odd. My son has asked me to send cheese via a friend who is visiting him tomorrow in Belfast. But why didn't he just ask for a few quid and buy it himself? He may be a student, but how dim is that? And as the cheese-sender I am even lower down the scale. Hmmph.

Anyway, today I contacted someone I know via facebook to Tell him of my plans; a chap with well over 1000 friends. I stand (well, sit) in awe. I think I've got just over 30 now.

In the Co-op I went intending to talk to the girl at the checkout, but ended up spending far too long sorting out my change and with an ever-increasing-queue of people-in-a-hurry behind me, the moment was lost.

Later I met up with a homoeopath friend and lamented my lack of nerve when it comes to Telling People. She encouraged me by saying that when it comes down to it Preparation is All, so as long as I am prepared All Will Be Well. I explained that one of the things that helps is the wonderful bunch of reactions I get: the tales of friends who have also volunteered, the reminiscences of a beautiful Tanzania, the tips on how to procure donations and the genuine good wishes of so many people.

We went to pay for our tea & cake (you'd really would think I'd had enough by now) with me taking deep breaths and preparing. I told the manager my tale and we discussed fundraising ideas, including the Quiz, whereupon he told me of a very good website for quiz questions (nope, you might look up all the questions so my lips are sealed!)